General Overview
Interview Summary
The Life Marriage Family Network meeting featured a presentation by Avitza Kovac, the coordinator of the Maximus Men’s Ministry Network in Sydney, on the topic of “The Masculine Heart.” Kovac outlined the severe crisis of male loneliness and suicide in Australia, arguing that it stemmed from men feeling isolated and misunderstood. He presented the purpose of men’s ministry as a way to “give more of the man back to his family” by “sharpening” him through authentic male fraternity. He discussed how a lack of this fraternal love led to disordered loves and decision-making based on emotion. Throughout the presentation and subsequent Q&A, Kovac used statistics, theological concepts, personal anecdotes, and practical examples to make a case for greater investment in and focus on men’s ministry within the Catholic Church.
Interviewee Background
Avitza Kovac was the Life, Marriage, and Family Officer and the coordinator of the Maximus Men’s Ministry Network for the Sydney Center for Evangelization. Prior to this role, he worked for 20 years in the equipment hire industry and for one year in Sydney Catholic schools. He was introduced as being married for 23 years to his wife, Maria, and as a father of ten children.
Key Points
- The primary purpose of men’s ministry was not to take men away from their family commitments but to “sharpen” them so they could be given back to their families in a more complete and effective way.
- Australia faced a significant crisis of male suicide, with loneliness and family breakdown being key contributing factors, even for men who were not physically isolated.
- Men needed authentic fraternity to be “sharpened,” a process that involved challenging and supporting one another to move beyond making decisions based on emotion, which Kovac argued led to chaos.
- A lack of true fraternal love (philia) caused a disordering of the other loves (storge, eros, agape) and led to confusion and negative behaviors.
- According to an ACBC study, the father was the greatest influence on the faith of young people, yet ministry to men and fathers was a significantly under-resourced area in the church.
- Building fraternal love required men to be vulnerable and take the initiative to invite other men into their lives and homes, moving beyond superficial Sunday greetings.
Notable Quotes
- “The aim of men’s ministry and gathering men is not to take the man away from the family more often, it’s actually to give more of the man back to his family, his community, church, and all of it.” (18:11) – This quote was stated at the beginning of his presentation to frame the core purpose of men’s ministry, countering the idea that it is just another activity that takes men away from home.
- “The man that lives a life making decisions based on his emotions leads to absolute chaos.” (25:25) – Kovac said this while explaining the need for men to be “sharpened” by faith and reason within a community, using his own father as an example of the negative consequences of being ruled by passion.
- “We have lost the art of fraternal love. And then therein lies, if you like, the disorder in today’s society around love.” (31:58) – This was said during his explanation of the four loves, identifying the lack of genuine male friendship as a root cause for many societal and personal problems.
- “If you want to fix the church… as Mother Theresa says, step out your door, stop, turn around and start loving, walk back in and start loving those that you live with.” (54:35) – He gave this response to a question about handling negative influences, emphasizing that true mission and love must begin within one’s own family.
Kicker Quotes
- “It truly breaks my heart, but it warms my heart when I see men come and we have this opportunity for relationship.” (55:23)
- “When have you actually been vulnerable and invited a man to come into your space? Because straightaway, as soon as you do that, things move if you like to a different level.” (1:00:18)
- “Someone needs to lead the way. Someone needs to enter the breach. That’s where we’re at, I believe.” (1:01:23)
Detailed Insights
1. Main Arguments
- Men’s ministry was an essential response to a societal crisis of male loneliness and suicide, which afflicted men even when they were surrounded by people. (19:07)
- The concept of “iron sharpens iron” was critical; men required authentic fraternity to be challenged, held accountable, and grow, which would prevent them from making chaotic decisions based on emotion. (23:09, 25:25)
- A lack of genuine fraternal love (philia) was a core issue for modern men, leading them to disorder the other loves and seek affirmation in unhealthy ways. (28:00)
- The idea of the “solo man” was a fallacy; men could not succeed in their vocations as husbands and fathers without the support and sharpening influence of other good men. (35:17)
2. Supporting Evidence
- He cited Australian suicide statistics, stating that six to seven men took their lives every day and that men accounted for three-quarters of all suicides. (19:07)
- He referenced a personal story about his father, who made many decisions based on emotion, which resulted in “chaos” for the family. (25:25)
- He shared an anecdote about a man who, after his friend died, felt compelled to go to a church, found a flyer for a men’s conference, and subsequently discovered life-changing brotherhood and fraternity. (39:28)
- He pointed to an ACBC study that identified the family as the “number one influence” on young people, arguing that this data supported a greater strategic investment in ministry to fathers. (49:41)
Themes and Trends
1. Recurring Themes
- Sharpening: The idea of “iron sharpens iron” was a central, recurring metaphor for the process of mutual accountability, challenge, and support that he argued was essential for men. (18:11, 23:09, 52:07)
- Loneliness: The theme of male loneliness as a deep, internal state of feeling misunderstood—distinct from physical isolation—was repeatedly highlighted as the primary problem men’s ministry sought to address. (19:07, 21:24)
- Fraternal Love: The critical need to rediscover and actively practice authentic fraternal love (philia) was presented as the primary solution throughout his talk and the Q&A session. (28:00, 31:58, 57:59)
- Vulnerability: The necessity for men to be vulnerable with one another was a recurring point, presented as the key to moving relationships from a superficial to a deeply supportive level. (1:00:18)
2. Emerging Trends
- Grassroots Growth: Kovac’s work coordinating the Maximus Network pointed to a trend of men’s groups “popping up in many parishes,” suggesting a grassroots demand and response to the needs of men. (11:00)
- Lack of Institutional Support: The discussion revealed a significant trend where the grassroots need for men’s ministry was not being met with formal, paid institutional support at the diocesan level across Australia. (49:41, 56:00)
Follow-Up Questions:
- You explained that the Maximus Network model saves leaders time by sharing resources. What are the most effective, low-cost, and easily replicable resources or program models that parish men’s groups have successfully adopted?
- You identified vulnerability as key to building fraternal love. What are the most common barriers that prevent men from being vulnerable with each other, and what are some practical “first steps” a leader can take to create a safe environment for this?
- Given the ACBC data on the profound influence of fathers, how can men’s ministry be more intentionally integrated with existing family, marriage, and youth ministries to create a more holistic and impactful parish strategy?
- You mentioned that you were leaving your role. What key structures or principles have you put in place to ensure the momentum of the Maximus Network continues after your departure?
- Beyond the lack of paid staff, what are the other major structural or cultural challenges within the Church in Australia that you believe hinder the nationwide growth of men’s ministry?
