Workshop C, Anne-Marie Goes
TIPS FOR EVERYDAY CONFIDANTS
Have you ever had someone confide in you about their marital difficulties?
Research indicates that well before couples seek the assistance of a professional counsellor, they are talking with trusted family and friends.
Psychologist Anne-Marie Goes will outline simple strategies for you to deploy when you become an ‘Accidental Marriage Counsellor’.
The Accidental Counsellor Handout
Anne-Marie Goes- Workshop Handout
Effective strategies to support a friend’s marriage
1. Self-awareness – Am I responding as a rescuer, persecutor or victim? Step out of the ‘Drama Triangle’.
2. Listen – Listen with the intention of understanding by paraphrasing or restating.
3. Empathise – Think about how your friend may be feeling. Reflect back those feelings and empathize with their feelings, not their perspective.
4. Perspective – Ask questions that will help them see another person’s point of view, focus on solutions or strengths, identify and act in line with their values and/or briefly share your experience.
5. Practical Support – Consistently making time to listen, cook meals, babysit etc.
6. Referring on to professional support – A couple therapist that offers a controlled separation approach. Use these strategies to work on enhancing your own marriage and relationships, be a good role model!
Bethany Health Center, 18A Margaret Street, Strathfield. Mob: 0402 472 619