Presenter: Susanne North

Former parent educator with Sydney Catholic Schools, she is part of a team providing grief support in her local deanery in collaboration with Catholic Grief Care

Summary

This presentation was given to the Life, Marriage and Family Network by Susanne North, who shared insights from leading a parish-based grief and bereavement ministry at Randwick Parish. Developed in partnership with Catholic Grief Care, Sydney, the initiative was created to address the loneliness and isolation often experienced by grieving individuals in modern Western society.

Susanne explained the “Companioning” model of grief support, developed by Dr. Alan Wolfelt, which emphasizes presence, listening, and holding space rather than trying to “fix” grief. She described the ministry’s gradual establishment, the volunteer team, and services such as one-on-one sessions and “In Loving Memory” circles. She underscored that grief never disappears, but that healing involves life expanding around it.

Notable Quotes

“But you can’t get over grief. Grief is there with you for the rest of your life.” (09:41)
“Holding space is simply being there with a person non-judgmentally, compassionately, and with kindness, witnessing their grief.” (10:25)
“We are not the expert. The grieving person is their own grieving expert.” (19:56)
“The healing is that you are able to connect with life. You’re not being debilitated by your grief.” (50:42)

Detailed Insights

Pastoral Challenges:

Modern Western culture often isolates the grieving, pressuring them to “move on.”
Loneliness and disconnection increase suffering, particularly when there is little community support.
Many people experience disenfranchised grief (miscarriage, divorce, relocation) that is rarely acknowledged.

Pastoral Responses:

The Companioning model focuses on presence, not fixing.
Grief is lifelong, but life can grow around it through gentle accompaniment.
The pilot program was deliberately slow to establish, with 7 trained volunteers, clear protocols, and archdiocesan support.
Group activities such as memory circles and nature walks support both personal and communal healing.

Themes and Trends

Recurring Themes:

Community vs. Isolation – Healing emerges through connection.
Companioning vs. Fixing – The goal is presence, not solutions.
Permanence of Grief – Grief remains, but life can expand around it.
Creating Safe Space – Compassionate, non-judgmental settings are vital.

Emerging Trends:

Growth of formal parish grief ministries with trained volunteers.
Expansion into holistic community-building activities.
Broader recognition of grief beyond death (e.g., loss of relationships, jobs, or health).