Author: Dr Agata Mleczko, Maryvale Institute, UK
Introduction
The new note by the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith concerns a crucial issue related to marriage: the call to exclusive unity through monogamy. Although it presents a slightly different emphasis on the marital bond than previous documents such as Familiaris Consortio, it is remarkable in showing the beauty and depth of this vocation. This article explores Una Caro’s positive contribution to understanding monogamy as gift, its biblical and theological foundations, and its pastoral implications for encouraging married couples to live their sacrament more deeply.
A Beautiful Mosaic: The Document at a Glance
Una Caro. Elogio della monogamia is a substantial note of 157 paragraphs divided into five chapters plus introduction and conclusion, focused on the monogamy of marriage as a reply to growing concerns in many African countries about polygamy and to the spread of polyamory in the West. Isn’t it striking that such diverse areas face similar threats to marriage? The text aims not merely to defend traditional Church teaching but to provide compelling reasons for embracing monogamy.
The document’s structure reveals its method: it begins with Scripture as the foundation of Catholic doctrine, then proceeds chronologically through the Church Fathers, medieval theologians and scholars, and twentieth-century Church documents. This progression demonstrates a golden thread of continuity, quoting abundantly from various sources. The Dicastery then brings the philosophy of the human person into the picture, enriching the reflection further. There is even a section with love poems, acknowledging that whilst we can and should reflect on marriage, part of it remains a “great mystery” (Eph 5:32) beyond full comprehension. The document concludes with reflections encouraging deeper understanding of the sacrament of marriage.
Three Windows into Marital Unity
From Eden to Eternity: The Biblical Foundation
The title suggests multiple meanings. Una Caro in Latin stands for “one flesh,” but the unity it underlines extends far beyond the body itself. It represents an eternal calling by God to become one. We first hear this in the garden of Eden when God creates man and woman, placing in their hearts a fundamental calling: “a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Correct Christian anthropology must be the basis for reflection on marriage, for if we misunderstand human nature, how can our reflection on grace building upon nature be sound?
The Dicastery’s main argument for monogamy reaches back to Genesis chapter two and the complementarity of man and woman (Gen 2:18, 20). Quoting Benedict XVI’s Deus Caritas Est, the document concludes that man is “somehow incomplete, driven by nature to seek in another the part that can make him whole, the idea that only in communion with the opposite sex can he become ‘complete.’” (Una Caro, 13). In Adam’s exclamation we see not only delight with Eve but also covenantal language. The mutual entrusting of man and woman forms the foundation of their relationship and reflects their similarity to God the Creator.
The document brings to the forefront an interesting biblical interpretation: the theme of nuptiality spanning the Old Testament and finding fulfilment in Christ. Moving through Scripture, the note demonstrates how prophecies given to the Chosen People were soaked in nuptial imagery. God reveals Himself as Husband, as Bridegroom awaiting union with His beloved Bride. Read in this light, Old Testament prophecies touch the hearts of spouses who see their marriage as wanted by God Himself.
The New Testament strengthens this foundation. Quoting Jesus’ words about divorce in Matthew’s Gospel, the document notes: “Jesus restores God’s original plan, going beyond the norm given by Moses and recalling an older one, while at the same time highlighting a divine presence in the very root of this relationship: “What, therefore, God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Mt. 19:6).” (Una Caro, 27).
Never Alone: The Third in the Marriage
Developing quotations from Gaudium et Spes, Una Caro states: “Authentic married love is caught up into divine love and is directed and enriched by the redemptive power of Christ and the salvific action of the Church.” (Una Caro, 68). This reality – that “Christ himself now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of marriage” – is rarely brought to the forefront of thinking about marriage, yet remains crucial for the spouses, their family, and the whole Church.
The document sheds light on the marital bond as one requiring God’s presence: “Marriage does not completely free us from solitude, since the spouse cannot reach that space that belongs solely to God, nor can the other fill the void that no human being can fill.” (Una Caro, 130). Acknowledging that the sacrament creates a holy space for God to dwell amongst the spouses is fundamental to understanding both indissolubility and the gift of monogamy.
Una Caro addresses marriage realistically, analysing it in its totality – from the beginning through mature love spanning decades until death. This acknowledgement of changing, expanding, ever-growing love gives readers hope that loving a spouse for one’s whole life is possible. When married love is treated with care, tenderness and affection, it continues to grow even as its expressions change over time (Una Caro, 120-121).
The Infinite in the Exclusive: Monogamy as Liberation
As Una Caro beautifully expresses: “Conjugal exclusivity then appears not as a limitation, but as the very condition for the possibility of a supernatural love that, beyond the flesh, opens to the eternal” (Una Caro, 134). The final destiny of the spouses – their mutual sanctification – becomes possible only when both collaborate with sacramental grace throughout their lives. Their eyes should be directed towards eternity, which provides a precious anchor when the hardest challenges of married life arise.
The document emphasises that this unity requires continuous growth: “[Spouses] ]are called to grow continually in their communion […] so that every day they may progress towards an ever richer union with each other on all levels.” (Una Caro, 8). This is not a static state achieved at the wedding but a dynamic journey of deepening throughout life. Monogamy should not be treated as restriction but as a gift and divine promise enabling this infinite depth.
Why This Matters Now
One might ask: why does this matter? Should busy married couples take time to read a substantial theological document? The answer becomes urgent when facing the ever-deepening crisis of marriage and family in contemporary culture. The Dicastery’s response is bold encouragement: people of faith need to go deeper in understanding their sacrament of marriage.
For Couples: Deeper, Not Easier
The document offers something more valuable than quick fixes or practical techniques: a vision of the profound depth and beauty available in the marital vocation. In an age of “culture of temporariness,” couples need not shallow advice but deep roots.
Una Caro encourages spouses to return to Scripture with fresh eyes. Why revisit Genesis again? Because familiarity breeds complacency. Perhaps you have heard “bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh” (Gen 2:23) hundreds of times yet lost your marvel at the love with which God created ‘male and female’? The document invites couples to receive anew the Good News about marriage – its roots in creation itself and its marvellous consequences.
Moreover, the document offers realistic encouragement. Marriage is not presented as perpetual romance but as a call to continuous growth. Pope Francis’s words, quoted extensively, acknowledge that: “after suffering and struggling together, spouses are able to experience that it was worth it, because they achieved some good, learned something as a couple, or came to appreciate what they have.” (Una Caro, 79). This realism gives hope: authentic love changes expression over decades but, when treated with care and tenderness, continues to deepen rather than diminish.
For Parents: Teaching by Being
The document’s emphasis on monogamy as gift rather than burden has profound implications for parents. The most powerful catechesis parents offer to their children is lived witness. When spouses embody conjugal charity – patience, benevolence, fidelity – before their children’s eyes, they provide a “model of fidelity and attentiveness to one another” (Una Caro, 80) that no classroom can replicate. Children raised in homes where exclusive love creates stability learn that monogamy is liberation – the freedom to love without fear of abandonment.
When parents invite Christ into their daily struggles – financial stress, parenting disagreements, extended family tensions – they teach children that faith is not Sunday formality but weekday reality. As the document expresses, “a real passion for the beauty of conjugal love has found expression in the dedication of so many believers” (Una Caro, 10). This passion becomes a visible witness.
For the Church: Saying Yes, Not Just No
Una Caro is described as “fundamentally propositional” document – aimed at attraction rather than condemnation. When the Church is often perceived as merely saying “no” to modern relationship patterns, this document attempts something different: saying “yes” to the inexhaustible depth of Christian marriage.
When addressing African bishops concerned about polygamy or Western societies embracing polyamory, simply repeating prohibitions proves insufficient. People need compelling reasons to embrace monogamy – not just divine command but anthropological truth, biblical revelation, and lived testimony. Una Caro provides these reasons, drawing on Scripture, Church Fathers, theologians, philosophers, and even poets to construct a “beautiful mosaic” of why exclusive love corresponds to human nature and divine plan.
The document also serves pastoral ministers – bishops, priests, marriage preparation teams, and educators – by equipping them with rich theological and pastoral content for accompanying couples through various life stages.
Fruitful Without Offspring: A Note on Childless Couples
Whilst Una Caro explicitly sets aside extensive treatment of procreation (paragraph 5), focusing instead on the unitive dimension, the document does affirm: “A marriage which, through no fault of the spouses, is childless still retains its full value as an institution. [Such a family] does not lose its significance.” (Una Caro, 145). Though brief, this carries weight for couples struggling with infertility.
Una Caro’s strong theological emphasis on the unitive dimension as intrinsically valuable – independent of procreation – provides a robust foundation for affirming the full dignity of marriages without children. By focusing on conjugal charity and mutual belonging, the document reminds us that the sacrament creates a holy space for God’s presence and that exclusive love opens toward eternity – realities existing whether or not children are present.
Acknowledging the Critiques
No document is without limitations. Some theologians note that by setting aside discussion of procreation and indissolubility, the document may unintentionally de-centre elements traditionally considered essential to marriage theology. Others observe that the poetic, literary style – whilst beautiful – sometimes lacks the doctrinal precision expected from the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith.
Additionally, some African bishops have expressed concern that whilst the document was prompted by their pastoral questions about polygamy, it focuses heavily on Western polyamory and offers limited practical guidance for their specific contexts – particularly regarding abandoned wives and children in polygamous unions.
These concerns merit consideration. However, they do not diminish the document’s central contribution: providing a rich, positive theology of marital unity that had received less magisterial attention than indissolubility. Una Caro fills a gap rather than attempting comprehensive marriage theology. Read in continuity with Familiaris Consortio, Gaudium et Spes, and other texts, it offers valuable complementary insight focused specifically on the gift of exclusive belonging.
The Journey of Becoming “Una Caro“
Una Caro represents a significant contribution to the Church’s reflection on marriage at a critical cultural moment. By grounding monogamy in Scripture, Tradition, and philosophical anthropology, the document reveals exclusive marital love not as restriction but as pathway to infinite depth.
One of Una Caro’s distinctive contributions is its appeal for a holistic approach to marriage. The document presents the marital union as encompassing the entirety of human personhood: “Intelligence, will, affection, action—indeed, the entire personality of each one is mutually and exclusively shared with the other in full symbiosis.” (Una Caro, 21). This is not merely a union of bodies or even of emotions, but a profound integration of body, soul and spirit – encompassing motivations, aspirations, intellect and will. Such comprehensive vision affirms that exclusive love demands and enables the total gift of self, impossible to divide amongst multiple partners. This holistic anthropology provides a powerful foundation for understanding why monogamy corresponds to human nature and divine design.
Moreover, the document demonstrates remarkable depth combined with breadth. The sheer quantity of footnotes and citations reveals meticulous scholarship, drawing from Scripture, Church Fathers, medieval theologians, modern philosophers, and even poets. Yet Una Caro does not merely compile quotations but penetrates deeply into analysis, searching for compelling arguments supporting monogamy. The document traces the uniqueness of the exclusive marital bond back to the Old Testament itself, showing this is not a New Testament innovation but rooted in God’s original creative design. By presenting the centuries-old tradition of the Church standing guard over monogamy – from Genesis through the Prophets, from Christ through the Fathers, from Aquinas to John Paul II – Una Caro reveals consistent witness across millennia to the truth of exclusive love.
The document’s greatest pastoral strength lies in its encouragement. Rather than anxiously defending marriage against cultural threats, Una Caro invites married couples into deeper appreciation of their vocation’s beauty. In an age of superficiality and disposability, it offers depth. In a culture of individualism and consumerism, it proposes communion and gift. For married couples willing to engage its vision, the document provides not just theological concepts but spiritual nourishment for the lifelong journey of becoming “una caro” – one flesh, one life, one witness to the love that created and redeems the world.
