We asked one hundred Catholic marriage leaders — priests, lay volunteers, diocesan staff, counsellors — what couples in the first decade of marriage need most, and you might expect a hundred different answers. However, from Australia, Africa, Asia, the Americas and Europe, responses highlighted a clear pattern that tells an intriguing story about what’s working, what isn’t, and what might close the gap in a cross-continental survey of the Marriage Catechumenate.

The ordinary weight of the first five years 

Married life is hard in ordinary ways before it’s hard in any spiritual sense. Leaders repeatedly named financial pressure and the logistics of starting a life together as front-of-mind concerns: “financial stability, developing careers, building homes,” as one priest summed it up. Add children to the mix — for some couples children arrive early and the pressures compound, or the stress of infertility topples the balance from calm to crisis in a matter of months. One respondent described a “stable foundation” of employment, community, and friendship as the things that lets a couple “face and persevere through the stressors of modern married and family life.” 

Alongside the practical load, respondents cited a skills gap that isn’t groundbreaking but is just as concrete: communication. The skills to resolve conflict, remain honest with each other under pressure and maintain dialogue during disagreements is how one clergy respondent put it. An undeniable and unglamorous need that showed up again and again, both as something couples lack early on and as something leaders think formation could actively build as the newlyweds grow together and make decisions about how they cultivate a shared family life.

“The first years constitute the transition from the idealism of courtship to the reality of the common life project.” (Clergy, Venezuela) 

Faith as something lived, not just believed 

Layered on top of the practical is something distinctly Catholic: couples need help living their faith together, not just holding onto it individually, or losing it in the demands of daily life. That showed up as prayer – “commitment to their marriage and faith in God’s presence in their relationship” (Clergy, USA) – but also as a deeper theological question about what marriage actually is. Several leaders pointed to marriage as an indissoluble sacrament that couples need to be formed into understanding, not just a wedding day they’ve already had. One Australian counsellor put it sharply: “the first years are one of the most important formation stages, not merely a follow-up” – a reminder that faith formation must continue beyond the wedding threshold.

The gap nobody’s hiding from 

Here’s where the gap in marriage enrichment is highlighted. When respondents were asked how well their communities are currently meeting these needs, the answer was candid. More than half openly admitted the support isn’t there:  

“We struggle to have resources to support newly married couples after their wedding day.”  – (Clergy, Australia)

“Focus is on pre-marriage education, which drops off significantly after the wedding,” – (Lay volunteer, Australia)

 “The greatest gap is the lack of clear, well-known pathways for support after marriage; couples don’t know where to turn.” – (Therapist, Australia)

While marriage preparation is established and effective, after the wedding, formal supports end or are broadly unknown. This leaves couples to find their own way, navigate the challenges and triumphs of married life alone, and they become isolated or insular about how they live a Catholic marriage.  

What leaders propose 

So what could fill the gap? The data converges on one idea more than any other: pairing couples with other couples — ideally ones a little further down the road in their marriage.  

It’s the single most-proposed response. Asked what couples need, leaders point to community. Asked what formation should achieve; they point to peer connection. Asked how the community should respond, they propose mentor couples. Asked what newlyweds themselves can offer others; they describe becoming mentors in turn. 

“Choose an active couple in the parish to accompany them in their first five years of marriage,” suggested one priest (Australia) – a simple, low-cost idea that recurs in one form or another across dozens of responses. Some leaders described this informally, as friendship and shared meals; others pointed to structured programs built entirely around the model. 

And those programs already exist. Alpha Marriage, SmartLoving and Worldwide Marriage Encounter came up repeatedly — trusted, recognisable names that leaders reach for instinctively. The trouble isn’t a shortage of good ideas or depth in the programs that do exist, it’s the lack of reach.  

Being seen is its own contribution 

When leaders were asked what role newly married couples play in the Church’s mission, close to half gave some version of the same answer — not serving on committees, not volunteering for ministries, but simply being visible. Living their marriage well, in front of other people, was described repeatedly as the contribution itself. 

“Their marriage is a sacramental sign, not simply a private relationship… a powerful, underestimated evangelising witness in a culture of individualism, relational fragility, and fear of permanence.” (Therapist, Australia)

It suggests the Church doesn’t primarily need newlyweds to do more — it needs them to be seen, supported, and allowed to be ordinarily, visibly married in community. Everything else in this survey — the mentor couples, the programs, the follow-up that’s currently missing — is really in service of that one, simpler thing: making sure new marriages don’t disappear from view right when they need company the most.