Marriage preparation helps couples to the altar. A new survey of marriage leaders suggests the years that follow are where the Church most often goes quiet. 

"As far as I know we make appointments, prepare them through diocesan programming, perform weddings, send them off, and never see them again until they baptise children or visit on holidays." 

That is how one Australian priest described his parish's support for newly-married couples. He is not alone. The Parish & Marriage Resource Centre's 2026 Marriage Leaders Survey asked 112 clergy, lay volunteers, diocesan staff and counsellors how well their community meets the needs of couples in the first five years of marriage. 

More than half (54%) said plainly that support falls short. The pattern was consistent: marriage preparation is comparatively strong but contact drops away once the wedding is over. A counsellor put the consequence simply: couples "don't know where to turn." 

An old gap, a new urgency 

223. The Synod Fathers observed that "the initial years of marriage are a vital and sensitive period during which couples become more aware of the challenges and meaning of married life. Consequently, pastoral accompaniment needs to go beyond the actual celebration of the sacrament (Familiaris Consortio, Part III). In this regard, experienced couples have an important role to play. The parish is a place where such experienced couples can help younger couples, with the eventual cooperation of associations, ecclesial movements and new communities.

– Amoris Laetitia n 223

This finding echoes research that is now a quarter of a century old. In 2000, Creighton University's Center for Marriage and Family surveyed 947 mostly Catholic couples married five years or less. The most important thing missing, the researchers concluded, was strong church-sponsored follow-up after the wedding. 

The Church's own teaching has since sharpened the point. Amoris Laetitia (223) describes the early years of marriage as a vital and sensitive period, when couples become more aware of what married life asks of them. The Vatican's 2026 meeting marking the exhortation's tenth anniversary goes further, naming the first years of marriage as a decisive time and is asking which forms of accompaniment actually work. 

The gap is not universal. About 40% of leaders in the survey described their community's support as adequate or good. That is a large minority who have found something that works, most often an established program, a mentor couple, or simply a parish where newlyweds are known by name. 

The survey also points out why the gap persists elsewhere. It is rarely a lack of goodwill or ideas. It is capacity. As one priest wrote, "we don't have a person who can take responsibility for organisation/leadership here." 

Practical takeaway: 4 touchpoints for leaders 

Closing the gap does not require a new program. It requires deliberate contact in the moments when couples are reachable. 

  1. Name one person. Before anything else, make a single person or couple responsible for newlyweds in your parish or community. Without a name and clear direction for what their purpose is, follow-up does not happen.
  2. Mark the first anniversary. A phone call, a coffee with the priest, or an anniversary blessing at Sunday Mass tells a newlywed couple the parish remembers them. Several leaders suggested exactly this kind of year-one contact.
  3. Use Baptism preparation as a marriage check-in. Many couples return to the parish when their first child arrives. That conversation can include how their marriage is going, not just the sacramental paperwork.
  4. Make the pathway visible. Give couples a one-page list of local supports – programs, mentor couples, Catholic counsellors – during marriage preparation, again at the one-year mark, and somewhere where couples can see and access these resources easily, whether in-person or online. 

The couples who need help most are often the ones who will never ask for it. The simplest response is to make sure someone asks them first.