Meeting Summary
Paul Ninnes, co-founder of Real Talk International, presented on sexual integrity as a centre-point issue for the Church — not just a pornography problem, but a crisis of masculine formation that affects marriage, parish attendance, and the Church’s capacity for mission. He opened with his own story: a daily-communicant 11-year-old who found pornography magazines, spent years in shame-driven silence, and only found freedom in his early twenties through a combination of scientific understanding of the brain, male fraternity, a confessor who actually called him out, and serious prayer. That personal journey became the foundation for StoutHearted — a program he spent 15 years developing and over 10,000 volunteer hours building before its release.
The scale of the problem was his first major point. One website alone receives 150 billion video views per year — more daily visits than Amazon. Research from Barna in the US found that 75% of men in the pews on any given Sunday report pornography use, and 41% of women. In Australia, 81% of 15–25 year old males use pornography daily or weekly. Paul’s argument was stark: if 75% of men in a parish were dealing with alcohol addiction, the Church would respond immediately. Sexual integrity receives a fraction of that attention, and the shame that results is actively driving men away from community and depleting their capacity for leadership.
StoutHearted is his answer — a video-led, eight-week discipleship program (not a therapy or support group) designed to be run by any man, anywhere, without specialist qualifications. It is framed not as a program for porn addicts but as formation for every man, working across three dimensions: guarding the eyes, renewing the mind, and transforming the heart. Paul described witnessing chains breaking in his current cohort of 30 men mid-program. His closing call to leaders was direct: there is nothing with a better return on investment for the Church right now than investing in this space.
About the Presenter
Paul Ninnes is the co-founder and Managing Director of Real Talk International, one of Australia’s largest relationship and sexuality education organisations working primarily in Catholic schools across Australia and New Zealand. He holds a Bachelor of Physiotherapy and postgraduate qualifications in sexual health and theology of marriage and family and has spoken to tens of thousands of people across Australia and New Zealand. He and his wife Emma have six children and live in Brisbane.
Key Takeaways
- Sexual integrity is a centre-point issue, not a peripheral one. Paul’s argument is that pornography and hypersexuality are driving men out of the Church, degrading marriages, and depleting leadership — and the Church is treating it as a niche topic rather than a pastoral emergency.
- 75% of Christian men in the pews on Sunday report pornography use. This is not a fringe problem among struggling individuals — it is the statistical majority, and the shame it produces silently hollows out parishes, marriages, and vocations.
- StoutHearted should be pitched as formation for every man, not as a recovery program. If it is framed as a “porn addicts program,” the men who most need it will not come. Framed as discipleship — which it genuinely is — it creates a safe entry point for everyone, including those with serious habits.
- Catechesis and spiritual formation alone are insufficient in this area. Men need discipleship — walking alongside, practical training in guarding the eyes and renewing the mind, and fraternity where vulnerability is modelled and shame loses its grip.
- The program is video-led and can be run by any man without specialist qualifications, in a parish, a home, or any community setting. Leaders can get started at stouthearted.com, and the individual version was releasing at the end of 2025.
