I remember Bishop Robert Baron recounting in a podcast a conversation he had with a TV interviewer while they were waiting for the cameras to roll. The interviewer was a young, disaffected Catholic who had left the Church. He told Baron that the Church needed to change its teachings on sexuality if it wanted to keep his generation engaged.

Baron posed a hypothetical: say the Church did change its teachings… would you come back? The man replied honestly – he wouldn’t. He wasn’t really interested.

I think this man is not atypical of many critics of Catholic teaching. We assume that just because someone has a negative opinion about what the Church teaches that the teaching is what is keeping them away. But it’s often not the case. Many simply do not desire a relationship with the Catholic community.

So why the focus on the teachings?

It’s easier to reject an abstract idea than it is to tell the person who has invited one to their church event that their invitation is not attractive. People do this all the time; we’ll say we’ve already got something on rather than tell them the real reason we won’t attend their party. We’re balancing kindness with honesty and that’s appropriate.

Those who think that conforming our teachings to the culture will make the Church more attractive are misguided. If our Catholic communities are indistinguishable from the cultural norm, why would they be chosen over the thousands of other options? Being culture-conformant won’t of itself bring people to our doorstep or across the threshold until their hunger for the divine exceeds their desire to live independently of God.

A whole Church issue

This is not to deny that some have experienced abuse from Christians, or that the teachings are sometimes misrepresented by well-meaning believers. Even today, I am regularly dismayed by how many Catholics hold erroneous beliefs about what the Church actually teaches. We desperately need better formation, particularly in sexuality.

I am reminded of Archbishop Fulton’s comment that “There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.”

This is not just an issue for those on the margins, but for all of us. We Catholics have a habit of picking and choosing between the teachings of the Church, justifying our position on the expectation the teaching will change or that it’s not that critical to our salvation. I too have been guilty of thinking that I know better than the Church on some matters – such arrogance! Mea Culpa!

Sinners in need of a redeemer

We are a community of sinners; people trying to pursue God and failing miserably. Though God calls us to perfect love through his laws, we fail in so many ways. The important thing is that we keep trying. And this should be our focus rather than correcting the sins and shortcomings of others. For we too, are in need of salvation and mercy.

Let us not abandon our beloved brothers and sisters at the margins OR the centre by denying the truth of God’s laws for our happiness. Let us accompany them in their pain and confusion, reminding them of their inestimable value – that the God who created them for eternal love calls them to himself and is always ready to welcome home.