Gary Chapman with his Five Love Language series has been one of the most effective marriage education frameworks of the last two decades. Grounded in research and consistent with common sense, the Five Love Languages has resonated with audiences throughout the world.
Here’s a summary his framework…
The basic concept is that people give and receive love in different ways. Chapman has observed five different categories in which people experience love. We all need each of these different ‘languages’ of love, but typically there is one or two that are particularly powerful in communicating love to us and without this primary ‘love language’, we tend to feel unloved.
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
To determine what your primary love language is, Chapman advises that you think about:
- How you knew that your parents or other significant people loved you.
- Past experiences when you felt unloved – the opposite is probably your love language.
- How you most commonly express love to someone.
Since his first best seller on the ‘Five Love Languages’, Chapman has published a number of variations for children, couples, singles and spirituality. He also has an interesting adaptation – the Five Languages of Apology – in which he and his coauthor explore how the different elements of an apology are encountered.