Marriage leaders identify shared faith as an asset to newlyweds. Relationship science suggests one simple practice may do more than we think. 

Faith practiced daily, and in the small moments of marriage, is more likely to survive the busy, tired years of marriage that demand a lot and test the wedding vows. 

We've heard the phrase 'Couples who pray together, stay together', but what does this mean in practice?  

Understanding marriage as a sacrament and vocation (25%) and integrating faith into daily married life (30%) emerged as two supports for a flourishing marriage, according to 112 Marriage Leaders recently surveyed about the early years of marriage. A couple cannot assume that faith will continue after the wedding without deliberate attention. 

Where faith and relationship science meet 

One of the clearest bridges between these two priorities comes from psychologist Frank Fincham and colleagues at Florida State University (2010). Over many studies, they have examined what happens when people pray specifically for their partner's wellbeing. 

The findings are consistent. Partner-focused prayer has been associated with greater relationship satisfaction, stronger commitment and more willingness to forgive. In one study, participants who prayed for their partner on days when conflict occurred reported more cooperative and forgiving attitudes than on conflict days when they did not pray. Other work linked this kind of prayer with lower rates of infidelity over time. 

Some of these studies used experimental designs, not just self-report, which strengthens the case. But there are limits worth naming. Many participants were university students in dating relationships, not married couples. And as the researchers themselves note, the studies show effects on behaviour and attitudes; they make no claim to measure grace. 

Why this matters to leaders

This research gives marriage leaders something rare: a spiritual practice and a relational skill in one.

Praying for a spouse turns attention toward their good, softens the edge of conflict, and makes forgiveness easier to reach. It speaks to clergy who emphasise sacramental life and to counsellors who emphasise communication, at the same time. 

It is also realistic. Many newlyweds feel awkward praying aloud together. Praying for one another, even silently, is a lower first step that can grow into shared prayer. 

Practical takeaway: teach one small practice well 

  1. Make it concrete. Invite couples to spend one minute each day praying for their spouse by name – for their wellbeing, their worries, and the good things they hope for them.
  2. Suggest it for hard days especially. The research is strongest around conflict. Encourage couples to pray for each other before trying to resolve a disagreement.
  3. Build it into what already exists. Mention it in wedding homilies, include a short prayer card in follow-up contact, and give mentor couples a few minutes to share how they pray for each other and together.
  4. Pair it with skills. Present partner prayer alongside communication and forgiveness tools, not as a replacement for them. That is exactly how leaders in the survey described what couples need.